Lord Carrett!

Lord Carrett is a comedian who's managed one of the most difficult feats in comedy - he's able to fill theaters across the country... WITHOUT the benefit of a sitcom or major television exposure. Rather, he's built himself a rabid comedy following the old-fashioned way... by developing a unique comedy style, and then promoting the hell out of it. He's become a mainstay on the nationally syndicated "Bob and Tom Radio Network", his new CD "Unsweetened" was just released through Amazon.com, and his business cards, flyers, and posters are arriving in comedy club mailboxes every week. We managed to track down Lord (actually, it wasn't too hard... those freakin' posters are EVERYWHERE! ), and see what advice he could offer about making sure comedy clubs (and comedy fans) remember who YOU are, too...

ChuckleMonkey:  Lord, thanks for taking a few minutes to talk with us; self-promotion can be a daunting task for a lot of comics, and there's probably nobody better at getting his name out there in front of the people who matter...

Lord Carrett:  Thanks.

CM:  ...At least, that's how your manager sold us on doing this interview.

LC:  (laughs)

CM:  So, let's start at the beginning... how did you get started in comedy?

LC:  I had some friends push me and I popped the clutch!

CM:  (laughs)

LC:  I was actually nagged into trying stand-up.  I had an ex-girlfriend that I'd taken to the comedy club every week when we were going out.  We were still friendly, and she dropped into the bar I worked at and mentioned that Showtime was having their “Funniest Person In America Contest” at a local club.  She said she thought I was funnier than the guys that I'd dragged her out to see, and that I should enter it.  The thought of getting up in front of people terrified me, but I said I'd enter the contest, hoping that she’d forget about it before it rolled around.  But, she didn't, and she maintained a countdown; three weeks… two weeks… and, when the contest was a week away, she started inviting our friends to the show.  I was trapped, so I put together a “set” out of a bunch of smart-ass things I'd said to customers from behind the bar.

CM:  Ugh... rough?

LC:  No! As luck would have it, I did great my first time out and went on to the semi-finals.  I’ve always had good luck with “firsts.”  The first comedian I saw live was Steve Martin, and the first band was Led Zeppelin!  My hell-raising older sister took me to see Zeppelin when I was eleven.  Nowadays, she’s super religious and acts like she never liked rock and roll, recreational drugs, and sex with strangers… The way I look at it; if God didn't mean for me to have sex with strangers, he wouldn’t have put holes in them.

CM:  PLEASE don't let this be leading to another "firsts" story...

LC:  (laughs) It could, but no; I digress... the semi-finals were held in a theater with a blinding spotlight, and I stammered through my set and died like a dog.  Had the two sets been reversed, believe me, there never would have been a second one.  This was in ’84 or so, and there weren’t that many comics, so stage time was easier to come by.  At the semi-finals, two comedy club managers offered me stage time if I wanted to “work on my act.” Hearing a bunch of jokes I came up with on the fly referred to as an “act” gave me the confidence to take them up on their offer, and within a year of doing three five minutes sets a week, I was on the road.  Bartending gave me an opportunity to tell a new joke fifteen or twenty times in a night, so my time behind the bar was like additional stage time!

CM:  Now, before we go any further, I've gotta ask - what's with the name?

LC:  "Lord" is a family name - a last name from my mother's side of the family that they gave me... and then sent me off to thirteen years of Catholic school!  As a result of all the taunting, I’m not especially religious.  As I mentioned, my sister, on the other hand, is super religious, and when I say super religious, I mean she’s got a cape with a crucifix on it!  

CM:  Man, I hadn't even thought of that... Catholic school for a guy named "Lord" - ouch.

LC:  I think giving a child an unusual name produces an unusual person.  It’s the “Boy Named Sue Syndrome.” I’ve always had to defend myself after every introduction, which prepared me for stand-up.

CM:  Good point. Plus, I'd imagine it has the extra benefit for you of being rather unforgettable - it would definitely give you a little extra leg up over a comic named "Joe Smith", I would think...

LC:  Possibly - but I'd like you can get people to remember you for your jokes more than your name...

CM:  ...Which you seem to have done a good job of accomplishing.

LC:  Thanks!

CM:  Speaking of which... You've established yourself in the comedy community as having a very unique voice...

LC:  That's nice of you to say.

CM:  ...and, of course, a particularly unique look. Where did that come from?

LC:  Well, the unusual name definitely contributed to my feeling like an outsider, which gave me a unique perspective on a lot of things.  I also worked hard and wrote a lot of material - and being funny behind the bar didn't hurt my tips!  I started out in the south in the second wave of the comedy boom, playing in places where folks had never seen comedy before.  I always had a taste for jokes that were clever and/or obscure, and that worked against me, so I realized I had to either lose them, find a way to make them work, or to incorporate their failure, so I became a “recovery artist.”

CM:  Meaning a comic who specializes in recovering from "bombs"?

LC:  Yes - I've always written “saves” or jokes that don't have a set place in the set, that I use to recover when a joke falls flat.  Often the tension that's created when a joke fails is a wonderful springboard for the next joke, and gives it added impact.  Johnny Carson was the king of that style of comedy.

CM:  And what about your look - the whole "retro" thing?

LC:  Well, as for my retro-look, I've always been fascinated by rockabilly music.  When I was a kid, all my favorite songs were rockabilly, but I didn't have a name for it.  Then the Stray Cats exploded on the scene, and re-introduced the term into American culture, and I realized that I'd been a rockabilly cat from day one.  In showbiz, I figured I could dress anyway I wanted and I tried to get a pompadour.  I had an unfortunate detour after a hairdresser told me I'd need a perm to “get my hair to do that.”  To protect future generations of rockabilly cats from the indignity of having their hair in curlers, I’ve put a pompadour page on my website (www.LordofLaughs.com - Ed.) and walk people through the history, care and feeding of the pomp.  I even Photoshop-ed my hair onto famous bald guys like Yul Brenner and Tom of "The Bob & Tom Radio Network".

CM:  Speaking of whom - Bob & Tom have really been a big boost for your career...

LC:  It's been a godsend - they've been great to me.  I'd probably have quit the business if it weren't for Bob & Tom having me on thirteen times.

CM:  With the kind of reach that the "Bob & Tom Radio Network" has across the country, and with you appearing on there so often, how has that kind of notoriety affected your comedy career?

LC:  The best thing about the exposure is having people come out to see YOU - not just to see “comedy.”  It's allowed me to make the jump into theaters in many of the 150-plus markets they’re heard in, but the coolest thing is when you start to go into a joke, and see a guy elbow his buddy next to him and say “This one’s great!” and you realize “That’s my ’FREEBIRD’!  That’s the joke this guy came out to hear!”

CM:  Of course, now a lot of your fans can take home their favorite jokes with them...

LC:  My new CD, yes - "Unsweetened."

CM:  See how smoothly I slipped in that plug for ya?

LC:  (laughs) Very professional.

CM:  Eh, I figured it would make Bob (Lord's manager - Ed.) happy...

LC:  Probably.

CM:  How important would you say it is to have merchandise to sell on the road, such as your new CD?

LC:  I’ve never really focused on money - I've always focused on the long-term.  I figure if you're doing everything right, the money will eventually come.  So, I don't push CD sales at my shows.  I don't want an infomercial in the middle of my set and, now that it has national distribution and listed on Amazon.com, it's easy enough for folks to get a copy.  I'd rather spend that minute or two making sure they want a copy.  It's more important to me to get a webcard in their hands, so they can visit my site and find out what makes me tick, check my schedule, and come to another show.  The audience has to finish a lot of my jokes in their heads, and as a result, if someone sees me twice, that's when I really “set the hook”.  As a kid, my dad owned a bar, and I learned hundreds of filthy jokes by rote, but I didn't know what the words meant.  When I found out what the terms meant, I'd think "THAT’S why that joke is funny!" - and it didn't impact my enjoyment of the joke.  If anything, I was more attached to them because I'd been carrying them around with me for a while - they were hard-won.  So, I try to give my audience the same experience by using obscure, yet high-profile references that they're sure to encounter later, smack their foreheads, and shout “Eureka!”  I've had comedians tell me that they didn't get one of my jokes until three years later, and I'm proud of that.  It's like making a trick shot over your shoulder using a mirror.

CM:  Having the material to keep your fans coming back is obviously of paramount importance for any comedian - but sometimes, getting them in the door the first time can be just as hard. You seem to have an incredible knack for self-promotion...

LC:  Thanks - I try!

CM:  What kind of tips on self-promotion can you give to the comics who are working in the industry today?

LC:  I'd say the first step is having a professional website with audio and video clips.

CM:  I've seen a lot of comics who have websites, but they'll often seem to skip the audio and video clips...

LC:  I know! It's important to have a "taste" of your act on there - that way, your website can “sell” anyone interested in hiring you - or seeing you - the first time they visit it.  The two things you can't skimp on are your headshots and your website.  They're the first punches you throw, and they should be knockouts.  The second thing, and I may have invented it... is the aforementioned webcard.  I give audience members a business card that says simply: “Check out LordofLaughs.com, Lord Carrett’s website.  Go home, sober up, log on.” Simple, and effective.  We also send e-flyers that clubs can send out to their entire e-mailing list at NO cost. It's free, effective advertising - the kind that EVERYbody likes.  I asked Dave Stroupe of the Columbus Funny Bone if he'd seen anyone else doing e-flyers, and he hadn't.

CM:  Well, I'm sure he will now... now that all the Chucklemonkey readers have read this.

LC:  Aw - that's my idea! Thieves! Thieves! (laughs) We also send custom full color posters and quarter page flyers to promote my appearances, and you wouldn't believe how difficult it is to get some clubs to put them to use in advance of my appearance!  Some of them adopt a “Why should we help you promote YOUR show?” attitude... The reality is that it's OUR show!  Booking me is like having a highly motivated partner for a week, and what those clubs don't realize is that while they’re judging my performance, I’m also judging their performance…  If the flyers are still in the envelope they were mailed in when I get to a club, I’m not going back!  I’ll call a week or two in advance to beg them to put them up, and gently point out that “The only place they’ll do NO good is on your desk.”  I say “If you throw them in the GARBAGE, at least the garbage man might see them, and come to my show!”  We supply full color, custom posters to make it harder not to put them to use, and they’re cooler, and I feel they give me added credibility with the audience.  At the very least, I think headliners should have posters with a blank space to write club info in.

CM:  Everything helps...

LC:  Yeah... Comics should also learn how to get themselves on local radio shows.  Keep in mind they’re filling several hours a day, and most radio shows are happy to have someone do their job for them for ten minutes if they’re reasonably sure you’ll be good on-air.  It’s an important part of a headliner’s job to be effective on radio, so it’s a skill you’ll need to develop.  I’ve managed to make a pretty good living, without major TV credits, because if I get on the radio, I’ll fill seats.

CM:  Good advice. Before I let you go, we've got a lot of readers here at Chucklemonkey.com that are relative "newbies" to the business - got any advice for those people who are just getting their start in comedy?

LC:  Absolutely.  The best advice I can give is to never tell a single joke onstage that you didn’t write - including “stock lines”.  Every comic I know is a damaged individual.  Every comedian seems to have a hole in them that at first can be filled with laughter, applause, free alcohol, and the attentions of the opposite sex.... but, it's a temporary “fix”.  If you diligently write and perform your own material exclusively, and stay true to yourself, becoming accomplished at comedy not only fills, but repairs, the hole.  Comics are obsessive and very hard on themselves.  I've read that Letterman still hates to watch tapes of his show.  If HE isn’t pleased with himself by now, then you or I aren't going to be anytime soon if we're telling jokes we didn't write.  Not to mention that every time you do a stock line, you rob yourself of an opportunity to come up with something original, so it's a vicious cycle.  If you risk nothing, you learn nothing, and if you're not learning you become stagnant.  I've always felt that the audience finds out the most about who a comic when a joke doesn't work.  Does he go on the offensive or the defensive?  Does he fold, or does he up the ante?  Stock lines are THEFT.  Someone wrote them.  I like to say that “It's not like Moses came down from the mountain with Ten Commandments and ‘a few good lines in case you get in a jam.’”  Heckling and mishaps are part of doing stand-up and it's unrealistic to expect that they won’t occur during your set.  If you're stumped onstage by a heckle or a sound problem, go back to your hotel and write until you come up with what you SHOULD have said.  Simply put, there’s no such thing as “stock.”  There are two kinds of jokes - jokes you wrote, and jokes that are stolen.  A stock line is joke that's a victim of it's own success.

CM:  I like that... there's nothing quite as frustrating as working with another comic and hearing him pull out the old "Where did you learn to whisper..."

LC:  "...on a helicopter?"  Ugh.

CM: Keep it original, always.

LC:  Yes, definately. To the “newbies” I'd also say work hard, but take your time.  You get better very slowly - it's like erosion in reverse.  You improve so incrementally that you don't even realize you've improved until you watch a six month old tape and cringe every five seconds.

CM:  Too true...

LC:  I'd also suggest that you embrace the opening slot.  Opening is like jogging with ankle weights.  A set in the opening slot (even though it's less stage time) is more likely to teach you something, and a huge part of comedy is fact gathering.  You do it with every set and the opening slot has the clearest perspective.  As they say, "Leno opens." Also, before you quit your day job, I’d suggest having savings or another stream of income.  Some guys have investments or a side business that pays the bills.  You’ll also need a dependable car because YOU’RE GOING TO DO A LOT OF DRIVING.  When you’re a comic, you’re basically a trucker haulin’ jokes!  I’m serious.  I’ve eaten more meals behind the wheel than a hamster.  My last car had 210 thousand miles on it.  I drove it onto one lot, and the salesman asked me what I had to trade.  When I told him, he looked at me like I'd just said: “What do I have to trade?  ...Just these MAGIC BEANS!"  A safe car is a good idea, too.  My friend just traded in an El Camino, which is the “spork” of motor vehicles.  He traded it in on, of all things, a Mini Cooper!  And he’s already had an accident in it!  You know… as small as they are, they’ve got eight airbags!  He said he wasn’t sure if he was in a car wreck or a pillow fight!

CM:  (laughs) My own car - a 1989 piece-of-crap, for the record - has a ton of miles on it, too... people understand that there's a lot of driving in stand-up comedy, but they never seem to REALLY get it until you actually say the hard numbers out loud. I mean, I've had times where I've had to change my car's oil TWICE in two weeks!

LC:  Yeah - same here!

CM:  Well, I should probably wrap this up - anything else you wanted to say to the Chucklemonkey readers out there?

LC:  Buy my CD!  I lied about not being focused on money!

CM:  (laughs)

You can learn more about Lord Carrett by visiting www.LordofLaughs.com - and you can purchase his new CD, "Unsweetened", at Amazon.com by visiting HERE.